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Suicide: The Solution That Is Not a Solution
A tap on the shoulder can save a life.
Sixteen-year-old Jonas knows this firsthand. Two years after his little brother's death and a year after his parents' divorce, Jonas prepared to take his life. The atmosphere at home had become intolerable. His father blames him for his sibling's death -- Jonas had been babysitting at the time -- and his depressed mother barely talks to him. Naturally bright, he still manages great grades, but nothing in school interests him anymore. He feels like he is just living a "get-through-the-day" existence.
He had bought enough rope to hang himself in his room. It was an implement sitting comfortably in his bag as he walked the school corridor. Farewell letter done, there was only one thing left to do: go home and follow-through. The decision to commit suicide was, for Jonas, set in stone. But as he walked home he registered someone calling his name. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder. Mike, a classmate from gym, had caught up with him.
"Hey, this may sound really stupid but I saw you in class this morning and wondered if you're alright. Are you?"
Not an Isolated Case
Mike had no idea that his decision to reach out that day was the help that Jonas desperately needed. The question provided the opening for a serious talk. More so, it gave Jonas the opportunity to unburden the pressure he has been living in and send the message that he is not alone.
All over the world, someone commits suicide every 7 seconds. If you found your way to this article, it is possible that you yourself may be contemplating killing yourself. If that is the case, please take a moment to read this writing through. Though it doesn't feel like it right now, there is always a solution out of the misery besides death. Always. With professional help (and even with just the help of a sincere friend), many have managed to overcome suicidal tendencies.
Contemplating suicide is some people's way of coping; it is an attempted solution to a problem. This implies that far from being crazy, suicidal people are just finding a way out of the pain they are experiencing. Paradoxically therefore, suicide is a way to "survive". It is, however, a dysfunctional solution, as it creates more problems and does not really solve anything. There are better ways to survive and better ways to cope.
Help for a Suicidal Person
Mike's intervention in Jonas' problem illustrates what is integral in helping a suicidal person. At the end of the day, nothing can help better than sincere care, unconditional acceptance and understanding. It starts with a willingness to listen.
The reasons for wanting to commit suicide vary, and at times, hard to identify. But what is clear is that for the suicidal person, life has become extremely difficult and all possible ways to cope appear to have been already exhausted. The pain for the suicidal person is overwhelming.
This intensity is almost always related to a lack of social support. The more you keep a problem inside of you, the heavier it feels. Talking about the problem with a trusted person would therefore help a lot. If you are the one going through a difficult time, reach out. If you do not know anyone in your family or circle of friends who can understand you, seek a professional counselor. Aside from being able to ventilate the painful emotions you are feeling, the support of another person gives you someone to journey with you. More so, talking about the problem can help open your mind to solutions that you may have dismissed before or had difficulty exploring.
Some studies say that the pain felt by a suicidal person is no more intense than the pain felt by non-suicidal people. The difference lies in the presence or absence of hope: non-suicidal people cope better because they believe that the future may result in change. Suicidal people believe that nothing that tomorrow could bring would make things better.
Find ways to have hope. Hope can be found by finding out that some aspects of the problem are solvable or at least can be handled better; that there are others who have gone through something similar and survived; that there are other aspects of living that just might make 'sticking it through' worth it; and that there are people in your life right now who love you very much.