Main Navigation
Quick Links
Care for Caregivers: Surviving Illness at Home
When Josephine's mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, she was faced with an important decision. She could commit her to an Assisted Living Care Facility where she would have expert providers, or she could learn to care for her at home. Valuing spending time with her mother as much as she could, and with full knowledge that home care would change everything in their household, Josephine made the decision to be her mother's full time caregiver.
What followed were very stressful times, as it is with caring for any serious illness. As the dementia progressed, care became a physically demanding and full time job. The advanced stages of Alzheimer's require much support even in little things like eating and changing clothes. Because the disease affects a person's language facility, Josephine had to exert extra effort anticipating her mother's needs.
The Stress of Caregiving
You yourself may be handling serious illness in the family. The role of being a caregiver may come unexpectedly and can be draining experience. In fact, the stress does not just come from direct care of the ill loved one. In Josephine's case, aside from the actual nursing she also had to set doctor appointments, buy medicines, source funds, go to insurance offices, and make budget adjustments.
There are emotional demands from the role as well. Everyday she lives her mother's illness vicariously. She feels her pain. There is grief from the loss of her mother's lost vibrant personality, as well as the feeling of anticipated loss think.
Part of being a caregiver is stress. It cannot be escaped as ill loved ones require more from us than well ones. If you are functioning as a caregiver in your family, it is best to prepare yourself for the upcoming demands. Below are some of things that may help you as you navigate this role.
Educate Yourself
Start you journey by educating yourself. Know all that there is to know about the illness that you will handle what symptoms to expect and what care they require. Ask your doctor also about his expert opinion of their illness' prognosis. Painful as it may be, it is best to handle this time with realistic hope.
Aside from your loved one's physicians, there are also special interest groups with resource centers to assist you with information needs. The internet is a good way to gain a better understanding of what we are up against.
Get Support
You do not have to do this alone. Start getting support by making caregiving a family role. Orient everyone with what the situation is and find ways to make sure that everyone can help out. Family is also the best source of emotional support at this time as no one else will no better how you are feeling than those who live in the same house that you do. There are families who have actually become closer in the context of caring for an ill loved one.
Find support too from others who have similar experiences. Join community support groups, many can be found even online. Hearing other people's account of their journey can strengthen you and even inspire you to carry on. If no such group can be found, start one. It is good to know that yours is not an isolated experience.
Take Care of Yourself
Your first priority still is to take care of yourself. After all, you cannot give that which you do not have.
Make sure you eat right and get plenty of fluids. And if you need to and it's possible, you can detach from the situation awhile to avoid burnout. There are plenty of stress management activities that you can do when it all get too much to take. Try journaling, meditation and breathing exercises to calm down when it's all too much. Set out to have "me" time.
Because caregiving is a potentially draining experience you also need to protect yourself. To do so, you have to let go of irrational beliefs that might cause you to pressure yourself too much. Among them are: "I can and should control everything", "I cannot fail", "I can/should do everything", "I do not deserve a life of my own".
Reflect
At the end of the day, it is good to remember that despite the physical and emotional demands of caregiving, this role is a grace-filled role. It is a moment to show our love for our family. It is a time to live a life of generosity. And for others, it is a time to get to know ourselves.